This is dedicated to two of my good friends, one in England, one in Ireland, who ask me many questions, almost all of which are welcomed and answered properly, and who occasionally ask some of these questions! Love yis.
11.“Do you check out girls when they’re changing?”
No, not generally. I’ve been changing with other girls since I was tiny, it’s not a sexual thing, generally I don’t even notice, unless I have a massive crush on someone, in which case I’m generally too shy to change in front of them.
12. “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never slept with a guy?”
I should not need to explain the stupidity of this. How does someone know they’re straight if they’ve never slept with someone of the same sex?
Often leading into…
13. “And you’re sure you don’t fancy me? (Guys)”
Often followed directly by me laughing while they list their attractive body features I am missing out on.
“You don’t even find my ass a little bit attractive?” No, not even slightly.
14. “I want to go to a gay bar to see what it’s like, will you come with me and pretend to be my girlfriend if I get hit on?”
This always just seemed a bit of a teasing move to me, just say you’re straight, surely?! That’s what I’d say if a man was hitting on me.
15. “Was that your sister? Your… Friend?”
Quite often, that was the girl you saw me kissing a minute ago. Frankly I’m pretty disturbed that you thought that was my sister, it should have been pretty obvious she was not my sister! Or people try to ask if she was my partner or girlfriend but without saying those words, in case they offend me? I don’t know…
16. “I have this friend, she also likes girls, do you want her number?”
I’ve only had this a few times but it was always a bit weird that people would try and match make me with someone based purely on sexuality, but then, I’ve never taken anyone up on this so I don’t know, maybe we would bond over a mutual love of cats, wolf t-shirts and Indigo Girls?
17.“Which of you is the man in the relationship”” Alternatively “Who wears the pants?”
The second ones makes a nice lead in to my favourite ever retaliation to this question. “Sometimes I wear the pants, sometimes she wears the pants, sometimes neither of us wear pants at all.”
As a lesbian, I think that should make it clear that we are both always the women in the relationship. What you’re really asking is who tops, and I won’t answer that either, not matter how often you ask.