Bra-Burning and a Horror Story

(Pre-warning. This post tackles difficult subjects, like feminism, bras, and my breasts. If you think that my talking about any of those three things will upset you, don’t read this. Also spiders.)

This is the story of why I burnt my bra, with some observations on feminism.

I have (or rather, past tense had) a really nice bra.It was the first bra I bought after getting my first proper fitting since I was about 13, very comfy, M&S, white with red floral pattern. Not really ‘sexy’, but nice.
I’m going to burn that bra. Much as I’d like to pretend it was a political standpoint, or a personal, low level revolt against the patriarchy, really, truly and honestly, it’s because of spiders.

I don’t know what wave we’re on now, different people have said 3rd to 5th, I’m sure one day we’ll look back and say things like “Ah yes, the second decade on the 21st century, 4th wave feminism turned into 5th, abortion was legalised in Ireland, and women were still not allowed wear the kind of clothes they wanted without harassment.” but right now until it’s a bit clearer, all I can say is that I am firmly, happily and proudly a feminist.
I can vote, and vote for a female candidate, I can own property, I can be in charge of my own money, and in the job where I work at least I am getting paid on the same level as the men. Feminism for me means equality, regardless of any criteria you want to set, sex, gender, sexuality, age, race. There is no reason we should not all have equal rights.

Feminism for me also means support, which is why I never really understood the whole bra burning thing. Ever since I outgrew a B cup I am firmly in the pro-bra corner, they help me do things like jog, or run downstairs without pain and therefore I can’t believe that bras are a evil trick created by men folk to trap and ensnare women’s juicy bits. That’s bollocks.
And yet, with all of this, I am burning my bra.
Because of spiders.
A spider nested in my bra, and hatched a nest of baby spiders in my bra. I didn’t discover this until hours later, after wearing the bra pretty much all day, but when I took it off there were roughly 20 baby spiders crawling all over my chest.
I don’t dislike spiders, but that’s too much. I couldn’t wear that bra anymore.
Purging fire was the only solution.


5 thoughts on “Bra-Burning and a Horror Story

  1. Freda says:

    You can’t leave us hanging like that, or is that ’em? What did you do to the spiders? Did you run screaming like a banshee around the room beating your chest or would that not be considered a trait of a mindful feminist? Not to top your bra nesting, but.. Picture, reading in bed one night, engrossed in scintillating adventure, when out of the corner of my eye, I see something move, looked around and see nothing, so I lift the pillow lying next to me and a HUGE MONSTER spider comes bench pressing across towards my face, I scream like I’m being attacked by Godzilla, use my book as a club and chase the intruder round my bedsheets until I finally mash it. I know Karma may have something to say, but it was knee jerk. ‘Tis shamed I am to say, I NEVER get into bed now without checking under all four pillows AND the duvet. So I’m aiding and abedding, burn that bra baby burn!

    • I took off all my clothes (cause the spiders were on my dress) and flung my bra into the garden while having a low level panic attack. Some of the spiders had already been crushed on my breasts and I went and showered and cried. It was pretty distressing.

      your story also sounds horrific! I had a similar thing happen when I was younger too.

      Also you sound awesome 🙂

  2. LoseItBig says:

    Uhhhhg…gross. I am trying to grasp this. What if this happened to my shorts? I don’t even want to think of my panic…heebee geebees

  3. Bob says:

    We lived in a 300 yo house through my teen years and one night I pulled back the bed-covers to turn in and found it crawling with maggots. They had hatched on some nameless filth in the attic and started crawling about randomly atop the ceiling until they encountered the hole just above my pillow. Further wriggling got most of them from there to under the covers. I didn’t burn the freakin’ bed tho! Just washed the pillow case and sheet – and that was just squeamishness: I wouldn’t bother now. I’d just sweep the wrigglers up and throw them out the window.

  4. Emily Neenan says:

    Trauma! When I was about 3, I got into bed and bed felt wrong, so I pulled back the covers and the ENTIRE BED was filled with, I think, ants. (3 year old me was not overly concerned with correct categorisation of the bed-infesting insects.) Ever since then, I’ve pulled back the duvet before getting into bed, and when I was in Australia, I pulled it back and the ENTIRE BED was filled with, definitely this time, ants. Fool me once, ants….

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