Late Night Ramblings

I have slowly been moving into the new house. It’s been taking longer than it really should which has been a combination of a lot of work during the days and the fact that I have internet in my room for the first time ever.

I am in fact writing this post from my new bed, a magical contraption like this one.Image But minus the ladder and with more fairy lights and quilts on the bottom and more books on top.

I decided before ever seeing the house, only ever hearing mention of the bed that I would sleep on the bottom bed and have the top bed as a deliciously comfy library, and thus far into my unpacking that is about as far as I have gotten in making the room habitable. As I go to bed tonight the floor is strewn with infinite pens, approximately 47 bangles, an incense stick, my sister’s birthday presents, a Neil Gaiman poster and a miscellany of papers, boxes and trinkets yet to find alternate homes.

Goodnight all!

Esmé

Xx

Sing A Little Song (A ditty for accoustic guitar)

Sing a little song,

Sing a song of me,

Sing a song of sixpence,

I’ll bring you home for tea.

 

Please don’t stay out too long,

Don’t stay away from me,

Please don’t stay out too long,

Don’t stay away from me

 

It’s getting pretty dark now,

I’m feeling all alone,

Getting frightened,

I’m wishing you were home.

 

Please don’t stay out too long,

Don’t stay away from me,

Please don’t stay out too long,

Don’t stay away from me

 

I am lost without you,

I’m afraid without you,

I am nothing without you,

Without you I am gone.

 

I’m falling into Sleeptime,

Still waiting for your touch,

I’ll see you in the morning,

I love you so much.

 

 

Please don’t stay out too long,

Don’t stay away from me,

Please don’t stay out too long,

Don’t stay away from me

 

 

Poppies and Bluebells (For Tosh)

Once upon a time there were two kingdoms, side by side in spirit though not in borders.

Each kingdom had a King, a good and kind ruler and each of the kings had a son.

The Prince of Nerma was called Daniel and the land of Marzon’s Prince was called Sebastian.

~

There had for many years been a prophecy in both of the Kingdoms that one day a prince from another land would meet a prince from their kingdom and that the two princes would fall in love, when they did the Kingdoms would join together as they had been at the beginning of time.

By the time Daniel and Sebastian were born however it was no longer a prophecy but had become a myth which had become a legend and then a fairy story.

However both Sebastian and Daniel had loved the story in their boyhood and even though they were often told it was just a silly fantasy, that there was no mystical kingdom or magic prince, they never stopped believing.

The princes grew older and soon became young men.

Daniel was a very tall fair man, he loved his hunting dogs and to horse riding, he was strong and just and friendly to everyone. The people of his Kingdom loved him very much, almost more than they loved his father.

Sebastian was dark haired with an almost gypsy like appearance. His passion was traveling and the sea; he was an excellent sailor and a very friendly kind young man who won the hearts of many.

Years passed and soon the princes came of age.

~

On the day they both came of age they finally planned to set out on a quest to find their prince. Their fathers both thought that it was foolish but decided to let them as it was a good way of them getting to know the kingdom and the people whom they would one day rule.

Daniel scoured Nerma for any spirit walkers who’d seen another kingdom on their travels or had been to another land. He found no evidence of anything more than glimpses and those were not enough to help him.

Every visionary and dreamer in Marzon was visited by Sebastian and asked if they had ever seen a prince of a different kingdom or if there were any visions they could give him to aid him on his search but nothing came to him.

~

All their efforts were in vain but still they persevered. For a year and 7 months they were away were searching and looking again and again for any sign.

Even after all that time Sebastian stayed utterly faithful to his quest and refused to believe that it was nothing more than a bed time tale to satisfy small children’s sense of wonder.

But the search had been very hard on Daniel and he had begun to give up hope that he would ever find his true love.

He wanted to go home and abandon the search but something within him kept him going, kept whispering “Not yet, just a little longer, just around this corner, and the next…”

 

After all the long weeks and months he ended up searching through another of the many forests in Nerma. Eventually Prince Daniel was exhausted by his trials and journeys. When he’d been younger he had gotten to know many of them very well thanks to his love of the hunt, but he didn’t seem to have any recollections of this particular forest. It was in the south of his country and was a light airy wood, with many foxes in it.

He’d been searching it for some time and when he came across a small clearing he was overcome with weariness.

And so, bruised and tired he lay down among the long grass and bluebells that covered the meadow and slept a while…

~

As Daniel slept he dreamed, and he dreamed of a beautiful door. He wanted to go through this door more than anything. he was scared of what was on the other side, but even though he was scared he still knew he wanted what was through the door.

He plucked up his courage and walked towards the door. He turned the key that was in the lock and then went to turn the handle.

But as soon as his hand touched the handle he woke up in the meadow.

He felt like his heart would break, he’d been so close to his every wish and it had slipped away from him.

However when he looked around the clearing he saw that it had changed.

Instead of its original circle shape it now looked more like a figure of eight. And though the half that Daniel was sitting in was still filled with bluebells the other half was covered with poppies and standing in the centre of the poppies was the most beautiful boy Daniel had ever seen! All his dreams had been behind the door!

As they looked at each other Daniel smiled and Sebastian blushed. They walked from the forest hand in hand talking, but even before they had exchanged stories they knew that their quest was over, they had at long last found their true love.

~

The kingdoms were joined together as one once again.

Daniel and Sebastian traveled all over the two kingdoms together, getting to know the people, doing important errands for their fathers, getting to know the paths they’d searched and each other. They were very much in love

And when many, many years later their fathers both passed away the princes became kings and ruled the joint kingdoms in peace, happiness and harmony for the rest of their days.

~

And still, all these years in the very middle of the Kingdom of Marzon there is a wood in the centre of which is a wood which holds a clearing shaped like a figure of eight.

In the middle of that clearing, where the poppies and the bluebells meet someone has built a small cottage. And once a year, on a date known only to them, the kings leave behind the affairs of state and stay there for a short while. In their little home away from the world.

The Night Bus (Raspberry Upside-down Sponge)

We had potato salad for lunch the day I finally made up my mind to run away from home. We’d had yet another fight and the fact that all there was for me to eat was slimy potatoes and mayonnaise just tipped me over the edge. I pushed my chair out from the table and walked stiff with anger up to my room.

Everything I’d need was already in my bag so I grabbed it and my hoodie from behind the door. On second thoughts I turned, went to the desk and scribbled a quick note which read simply “This is it.”

She tried to say something to me from the kitchen but anything she said was drowned out by my slamming of the door.

It was November and the rain was bucketing down as I closed the garden gate for the last time. The rain still hadn’t let up at all by the time I reached the bus stop but I felt so liberated and joyful that I just stood there luxuriating in the feeling of having my clothes soaked through and the rain saturating my skin.

After about twenty minutes a bus pulled up and I came to enough to get on it. The driver asked me where I was headed and gave me 50p change from a twenty when I told him I was headed out.  I found two empty seats and collapsed into them, it was only Three PM but it felt much later with the November sun getting ready to go down to behind the clouds.

I must have drifted off for a little because the next thing I remember it was sunset and the clouds had finally lifted. I looked across the unfamiliar landscape as the shadows lengthened and the sun went down. Any tiredness I had felt was gone and I felt almost euphoric. The further we drove the more I felt like a new person. I sat with my chin on my knees and my arms around my legs and watched the towns as we passed through them and looking at the people who got on. The longer we went the stranger the places and the people.

We stopped at the bottom of the kind of drive that leads to a stately home to pick up two strange women, one in blue and white and one in black and green. They paid the bus driver in feathers and broken egg shells. As they passed by me I heard one say to the other “But Joy, how many secrets can you not tell?”

We stopped at a gas station to pick up two old women with loads of shopping bags and a young boy who was hiding three tiny kittens inside his jacket.

I felt more connected to these strange characters as we progressed along our journey; more and more like someone new than the person that I left behind when I left my home.

An old man with ivy growing in his beard, a woman holding a scarf full of stars.

You had to look closer and pay attention to notice the different ones.

A young man with feathers peeking out from under his shirt, a pretty young woman with lots of bags and boxes and a tail poking out under her skirt.

She sat down in the seat next to me. We sat there in silence for a while before she smiled and passed a box to me saying “Are you hungry? Try some of this.”

I opened the tin and took a slice of a gorgeous looking sponge cake with some kind of jam on the top. It tasted divine, soft and sweet. It was the kind of food to fall in love with, it was wooing food. I asked what the jam was and how she got it into the cake, she smiled her little smile again, lent in close to me and whispered the recipe in my ear. I never thought that I’d be seduced on a bus but there I was, being seduced and wooed. When I finally kissed her it was sweet and soft and she tasted faintly of raspberries.

In Five Years Time (For Joel)

In five years time, I’ll be twenty-two and you will be heading for there too.

Maybe by then we’ll have grown up enough to realise we don’t have to grow up.

But for now we’re both stuck at seventeen.

Both searching for the meaning of who we are and who we want to be.

We’re growing older with every passing day, but I feel like I knew less than I did at thirteen.

Let’s set five years as a time to sort it all out, when we finally get there we can change it again.

But for now we’re both stuck at seventeen.

Stuck without a map or a clue for where to go.

Have to learn to leave the fantasies behind for a while, but at least I always have you to come back to when my worlds come falling down.

Cause the truth is we are who we are, even if we don’t know who that is.

For now we’re both just stuck at seventeen.

But not forever.

My Sanctuary Introduction

Sometimes I find it funny that I’ve stuck so long with my internet name, Lady-Sanctuary. It came into being about four years ago during the height of my Kingdom Hearts obsession. I was looking for a name and was going a little crazy through lack of ideas. I was listening to Utada Hikaru’s My Sanctuary on repeat and somehow from there Lady-Sanctuary was born.

And now four years later we’re here with me starting a blog and still listening to Utada Hikaru. I’m moving house today which means it’s not the cleverest day to do so but I’ve never been big on the whole “sensible” thing.

So anyway, I’ll hopefully manage to get in the swing of things, namely regularish and interestingish updates. I’ll be putting up some writing mainky I think. Should be good craic if we’re lucky!

Esmé